Sunday, May 10, 2009

Five Dollar Footlong

Some classrooms have pets. Usually these creatures are furry, caged, and can fit into one of those balls where they can cruise at their own speed around a flat area. The child I nanny for had some of these pets in his classroom over the last few weeks. His classroom had two rats. They were being studied for science. Kids could watch their every move and document it- aka observe them.

At the end of this science unit, I am assuming the teacher was thinking how to best get rid of these rodents without simply unleashing them into the unknown of urban St. Paul.  The teacher decided to have a contest to see what student would take them home to keep as pets. 

Two students won. After one week, one rat had already seen the light and left not only the school building, but also, left this world. Devastating news for a ten-year-old. Good news for exterminators and the parents who had to clean up the rat poops and chase the rat-ball down the stairs as it bounced from stair to stair in a state of hysteria.

The other rat had better success in its new home. My nanny child reported that after one week of being in its new place, that the rat had grown! The rat made an appearance at school to show off his new bod.

I asked how big the rat had gotten. He wasn't quite sure, but thought he had a good comparison to help me visualize it.

"He was probably as  big as six-inch sub from Subway. Maybe a little bigger, but not as big as  a footlong." 

He then proceeded to show me the gesture from the Subway commercial (where the people hold their hands out and say five-dollar footlong and then motion to the size). 

The only thing I could do with this image was to imagine a rat just kicking it on a bed of white hoagie and relaxing in a mess of mayo.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Can I Have the Definition?

First, say the following word out loud: pianist

Then, try saying this in front of twenty-five eighth graders without any inappropriate comments.

Finally, when you have the second group of eighth graders that same day, preface this word with the following definition: someone who plays the piano